


The Life I Needed All Along

by zwischenimmerundnie



Series: The Only Thing [6]
Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Years apart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-04-19 09:19:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14234145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zwischenimmerundnie/pseuds/zwischenimmerundnie
Summary: After two long months, Armie and Timothée are finally face to face.After Armie´s initiative to message the brunette and show up at his door, it is time for Timothée to make up his mind and decide if their relationship will or not go on.





	The Life I Needed All Along

**Author's Note:**

> This is slowly coming to an end. I´m sad, but I have things prepared.  
> Hope you enjoy it, leave kudos and comments if you do.  
> [Follow Me On Tumblr](http://raquelsantos92.tumblr.com/)

**_The Life I Needed All Along_ **

****

**_Armie_ **

****

The long and old corridor was dark and silent, on the floor, sitting by Timothée´s door was Armie. His blue eyes were staring into the empty space, his head spinning with all the thoughts he had going inside; he did everything on an impulse, in a matter of an hour, he had bought a plane ticket, explained to Elizabeth why he wouldn´t be with the kids the next day, packed his bag, drove to the airport and left a very heartfelt message to the brunette. The message, the surprise appearance, Armie knew he had crossed a line there; the only thing Timothée had asked for was time and although he had tried, Armie failed to fulfill that one simple request.

He was slightly disappointed when he realized Timothée wasn´t home, but it was Friday night, he was probably out with his friends and Armie knew at the stage they were in, he had no right to be mad at anything. So he sat down and waited for two long hours, before he finally heard some footsteps, followed by his phone ringing; he looked down, Timothée´s name lightening the screen, but before he could answer he saw Timothée by the stairs, phone pressed on his ear and head down.

As he slowly stood up, Armie saw as the brunette raised his head, his green eyes wide open; “Armie”, he practically whispered. Armie nodded his head, although in the dark corridor, he knew Timothée could barely see; he couldn´t help but smile though, after two long and dreadful months they were finally face to face.

“Hey,” he started as Timothée slowly made his way over to him; “look, I know it was wrong of me to come here like this, it was wrong to leave you that message, but I´ve missed you so much and I just couldn´t…”, “Armie stopped when he felt Timothée´s body come in contact with his; the brunette´s arms tightly wrapped around his waist, his head resting on his shoulder. Armie inhaled deeply, his own arms wrapped around Timothée; they didn´t even say anything, they just stood still.

They needed that.

 

**_Timothée_ **

****

“…I´ve missed you so much and I just couldn´t…,” Armie stopped talking as soon as Timothée tightly wrapped his arms around his waist. He rested his head on the older man´s shoulder and took one deep breath, inhaling his scent, something he had craved for the last two months. He did not say a word, he couldn´t, cuz nothing he said at that moment would be worth it; Armie seemed to feel the same way.

When Timothée finally pulled away, he had a small smile on his lips; he knew Armie was crazy and impulsive, but he had never expected him to simply show up like this, especially cuz Timothée had yet to give him a proper answer as to what he wanted.

“Sorry for not giving you the time you need,” said the blonde as Timothée shook his head; “I really tried to keep myself away from you, but I just couldn´t handle it anymore.”

“I´m glad you´re here, Armie,” he said as his hand slowly slid down the older man´s arms. “I was just calling you so we could talk, I didn´t expect to find you here.”

“And you almost didn´t,” said Armie as Timothée furrowed his eyebrows in confusion; “I wasn´t leaving, I was just going to get something to eat, I´m starving.”

“How long have you been here, Armie?”

“I came here straight from the airport, so about two hours or something.”

Timothée shook his head, his hands squeezing Armie´s. “I have absolutely nothing to offer, but maybe we could go out and get some burgers?”

“I´d like that”

 

**_Armie & Timothée_ **

****

The diner wasn´t crowded, just a few people –mostly teenagers- hanging out and minding their own business. In a far corner sat Armie and Timothée, they were face to face, their eyes locking from time to time as they ate silently. Armie wanted to talk, he wanted to ask the brunette what he had decided, if he had decided, but he had already crossed a line just by being there, so now he would let Timothée take charge of the situations and talk whenever he was ready.

Timothée knew Armie should be desperate to hear something from him, after all, the blonde had already made his position on their relationship very clear with the voicemail; now was Timothée´s time to do so. But he was still struggling to find the right words; he wanted this conversation to be very clear for the both of them and so he chose to eat in silence, putting his thoughts together as he did so. His green eyes would meet Armie´s blue ones and he couldn´t help but feel his body heat increase at that simple gesture.

Once they were both done, it was obvious that there was no more room for silence between them; they had to step up and let out what was on their minds. Timothée, knowing he was the one with the most to say, began their conversation with a low and cadenced voice, trying his best to control his urge to just babble.

“Look, I´m sorry for everything I´ve put you through in the last month; when I asked for some time, not even I thought it would take me so long to figure out exactly what I wanted.” Armie nodded, he had a small but reassuring smile on his lips; “after a couple of days, I noticed that I was just overwhelmed by everything that was going on. That day in Berlin, I was just minding my own business and then suddenly we´re in a hotel room, having sex, making promises of a lifetime together and in a blink of an eye we are separated again, barely able to talk, never able to touch and I freaked out; I freaked out cuz you mean too much to me and I hated that I couldn´t do anything to keep us from doubting that what we had was capable of surviving the distance. I need you to know I never meant to hurt you, Armie.”

Armie nodded his head. “I know that, I also know that I should apologize to you cuz you asked me for time and I just couldn´t find the strength to actually do it properly; the texts I´d send you was simply because I couldn´t bare the idea of not even trying to reach out to you.”

“You don´t have to apologize, you don´t have to blame yourself for anything; I was the one who pushed this for longer than necessary, cuz honest to God, who was I to believe I´d ever choose a life where I am not with you,” said the brunette. He reached out, his hand resting on top of Armie´s; the older man couldn´t help but smile at the realization that Timothée didn´t even hesitate or looked around to see who could see them. “I´ve been living that life for the past few years and, well it´s not a bad life to be honest, but it´s also not complete; there was always something missing, you were always missing.”

Timothée let out a breath, a heavy weight finally leaving his shoulders; he looked at their hands, their fingers intertwining as he smiled. “I was about to call you to try and say all of this when I heard your voicemail and it killed me, it killed me to know I was the reason why you were in so much pain. I´m so sorry, Armie, I really am.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Timmy, you had all the right to ask for that time, to think about what you wanted; this is your life and you shouldn´t do anything you´re not one hundred percent sure of.”

“That´s the thing,” started Timothée, tightening his grip on Armie´s hand; “I think a part of me always knew what I wanted.”

“That doesn´t matter,” reassured Armie, “maybe you always knew what you wanted, but if you asked for time is because you needed. I just hope that time is over now,” he said with a chuckle as Timothée laughed, nodding his head.

“Yes it is, all the time I need now is with you.”

“You have absolutely no idea how nice it is to hear this, especially cuz I couldn´t really book a flight back to Los Angeles before Monday morning.”

The brunette´s green eyes widened. “What would you do if I said I didn´t want to be with you anymore?”

Armie shrugged. “Try and find myself a hotel, I guess; although, and you can call it wishful thinking if you must, a part of me knew I wouldn´t need to leave.”

“You´re absolutely crazy, Hammer”

“For you, yes, I am.”

They remained silent for a while, their fingers intertwined, their eyes locked. It all felt so comfortable, so natural; being together was like coming home, like finding their place in the world.

“There´s still one thing I´d like us to discuss, though,” said Timothée as Armie arched an eyebrow. “I know that technically we´ve been together for two months now, I also know that there´s a lot of baggage between us, but could we please just take things slow?”

“We barely even saw each other, Timmy, how could we go slower than that?”

“That´s not what I mean, Armie and you know it. I think we rushed things before; we made promises that we have no idea if we can keep; we planned things for years to come when we had just started our relationship. I think that maybe we mixed up the friendship we had with the romance we had just started; this is a new kind of relationship between us and we shouldn´t rush things or skip any steps just cuz we know each other for years. Is that okay?”

Armie bit his lip as he let all that had been said sink in; he let his thumb slowly rub on Timothée´s hand and nodded his head. “I think it´s quite reasonable.”

“Thank you”

 

****

 

It was nearly two in the morning when they left the diner; the streets were a little quieter now, but there were still a lot of cars and people walking around. Armie and Timothée walked side by side, their fingers brushing on one another from time to time, sometimes they would even link them together, but everything was very subtle. They were not ashamed of their relationship, on the contrary, after everything they had gone through ever since they met, they were quiet proud of how far they had managed to come. Still, they had decided to take things slow and cherish the little moments they had with one another, so the longer they could keep things to themselves, the better.

Armie was happy with himself; he knew the message and the surprise visit had been a bold move, but he was happy that it had all turned out for the best. If they had that conversation over the phone, things definitely wouldn´t be the same and he would hate himself for not being able to touch or hold Timothée.

Timothée was thrilled by Armie´s boldness; sure he had made up his mind and was already going to call the older man when he heard his voicemail, but hearing the things he said and then seeing him there in front of him made everything seem easier. Having that kind of conversation face to face was better and that way they could rely on each other; also it felt good to finally be able to hug Armie, feel his skin on his. After two months away from one another, Timothée was excited by the prospect of an entire weekend together.

“I can stay in a hotel if you want,” said Armie. Timothée swiftly turned to look at him, a confused look upon his face. “I mean, you did say you want us to take things slow and if I stay with you people will start talking; I don´t care about any of that, but if you…”

“There´s absolutely no way I´m letting you stay in a hotel room when I not only have a bed that´s big enough for the both of us, but also am desperate to have you lying next to me, so cut the crap, Hammer.”

Armie simply laughed, shaking his head.

Timothée did the same. “Stay in a hotel, that´s probably the craziest thing you have ever said, Armie.”

Armie suddenly turned serious, his blue eyes looking around the surprisingly empty street; he let go of Timothée´s hand and held him by the waist and in a swift movement had the brunette pressed against the nearest wall. Armie leaned his forehead against Timothée´s, one hand tightly holding onto the brunette´s hips, the other rubbing his cheeks. “I know we´re in the middle of the street, but I can´t help myself anymore,” he mumbled, his fingers now tracing Timothée´s red and inviting lips. They could feel each other´s hot and heavy breathing as they came closer together; shivers running through their bodies at the sudden and highly anticipated contact. “Do you mind?”

Timothée shook his head, his response coming in a low and hoarse voice. “Not at all,” he said as he leaned closer, his lips leaving pecks on Armie´s before he actually allowed their lips to move together.

It was fiery, it was intense, and they could feel the heat and the almost electric shocks running through them. They needed that kiss like they needed air.

 


End file.
